File_Fortune provides a PHP interface to reading fortune files. With it, you may
retrieve a single fortune, a random fortune, or all fortunes in the file.

Additionally, it offers the ability to access fortune files as if they were a
native array, including updating and deleting items. All write operations will
produce a binary header file to allow compatability with the fortune and
fortune-mod programs (as well as other fortune interfaces).

WWW: http://pear.php.net/package/File_Fortune/